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Things to Do at a Job Interview:

1. See photo of interviewer's family on desk, point, start laughing uncontrollably.
2. Ask if there is only one emergency exit, grin and say, "Boy!, I bet this floor would be in trouble if someone barricaded that!"
3. Constantly fidget with your underwear waistband, then blurt, "The strawberry ones are the stickiest, don't ya' think?"
4. After detailing your greatest achievement, qualify with, "Of course I was totally hammered at the time."
5. Over-emphasize your ability to use a copier.
6. Ask if it's okay if you sit on the floor.
7. Although parking was free, insist that they validate something or you're not leaving.
8. Mention your resume would have been stronger, but you didn't feel like making anything else up.
9. Ask the secretary if she'll sit on your lap during the interview.
10. Sniff two of your fingers, hold them out toward the interviewer, and say, "Smell these. These smell funny to you?"
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